Lately I find myself continually replaying the dieting failures I’ve had in the past and the present inside my head. My journey here has become a real struggle, not only with food and eating, but with myself rehashing my failures in my own head.
Yes – I have gained back about 25 lbs now since I started on the latest diet-go-round back 1 1/2 years ago. The clothes I purchased last year are now tight and in some cases too tight to wear. Having gained back a little more than half of what I lost is very depressing and it gives me pause for thought. Why do I have to be so focused on weight? Why do I struggle with guilt every time I put food in my mouth? THIS HAS TO STOP!
Yes, I have set goals for myself numerous times since I started this blog. Some I have completed, but others have been complete failures. The last goals I set for myself back a month or so ago in my post, One Step Forward – Two Steps Back, I still believe are worthwhile goals and achievable – so I’m going to start back with those goals. I’m going to start tracking these goals as I did with my Whole30 experience and see if that helps.
Next step I am going to take is reading the book Intuitive Eating, 2nd Edition: A Revolutionary Program that Works by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. My initial thoughts on starting this book, was WOW they seem to be talking to me. I’ll share here what resonates with me and what doesn’t.
The first thing that resonated with me was some of what they call “Diet Backlash”. Here I am quoting and paraphrasing (I want to acknowledge that these are the authors words, not mine) from the book directly – symptoms of this “Diet Backlash” include:
- The mere thought of going on a diet brings on urges and cravings for what we think of as “sinful” foods.
- Upon ending a diet, we go on food binges and then feel guilty afterwards.
- We don’t trust ourselves with food
- The lifespan of our diets gets shorter
- We precede all dieting with a type of “Last Supper”
- We have a sluggish metabolism – likely caused by all of the yo-yo dieting we have done.
I have not listed all here that are in the book – these are the ones that I feel strongly represent how I feel and think about “Diets”. For now I’ll trudge on and concentrate on my 4 goals of fitting into my smallest size clothes (by watching my sugar intake and increasing my intake of fruits, vegetables, and other healthy fiber food), enjoy 15 minutes of concentrated activity every day, meditate for 5 minutes every day, and finally say one empowering statement every morning out loud to myself.
I am the architect of my life: I build its foundation and choose its contents.